May 13th, 1915.

Received by: James Padgett

Washington D.C.

I am here, your Grandmother.

I am happier than I can tell you. I am living in my home of which I told you a few nights ago, and it is a beautiful home beyond the possibility of description.

Tonight, I want to tell you of my experience in seeking the Love of God, and in realizing that He is my Father, who loves me with a Love that knows no shadow of wavering or cessation.

I was not always filled with faith, or believed so implicitly in prayer, but in my early married life, I received the conviction that if I would be happy in life and fitted to receive the blessings which the Bible promised to those who should seek the Lord and his Love, I must see the necessity of seeking; and I, with all the earnestness of my nature, commenced seeking for the Father's Love, and as a result I found it, and with it a great happiness and peace.

You know what my spiritual condition was in my later years on earth, and how my faith was such that, although I was nearly deaf and blind, yet I was happy and joyful. Well, when I came to the spirit world, I brought that faith and love with me, and I found that it was just as real here as it had been on earth. Of course, in some of my beliefs I was mistaken, such as my belief that Jesus was God, and that his death and blood saved or could save me from sin and damnation; but notwithstanding my mistakes in these particulars, my love for the Father was not interfered with, and I continued to live in that love and was happy.

I had not been in the spirit world a great while, before spirits of a higher order than myself came to me and told me many wonderful things of the Father's Kingdom, and that my progress to the higher spheres would depend upon my receiving more of this Divine Love in my soul and becoming more at-one with the Father.

The first time I saw Jesus was after I had been in the third sphere a short while, and when I met him he impressed me as being the most beautiful and loving spirit that I had ever seen; and when he told me that he was Jesus, I, of course, was somewhat surprised, because I had believed that he was sitting in the heavens on the right hand of God, as I had been taught on earth to believe.

And when he saw my surprise he looked on me with a wonderful love and said that I must not further believe that he was God, or even a part of Him, or that he was in the high heavens accepting the worship of men, for he was only a spirit as I was, and was still working among mortals as well as spirits to lead them into the light and the way to the Father's Love.

At first, I confess, it was difficult for me to believe this, and I had my doubts; but his manner of talking to me and the wonderful love that he displayed, not only for me but for all mankind, soon convinced me that he was the true Jesus and not an imposter. And afterwards, I met many spirits who knew him and had been his followers for many years, and they told me that he was the Jesus of the Bible, and I could not do anything else but believe. And now, after my long years of association with him and feeling his ministrations of love and the influence of his greatness, I know that he is the true Jesus, who by his teachings and overwhelming love saves men from their sins, by showing them the way to the Father's Kingdom. So my dear son, do not doubt what I tell you now in reference to this matter, or what I have already told you.

Well, it is somewhat difficult to describe his appearance, but I will try. He is of a commanding figure, as you say on earth. His features are regular, and his eyes are of a deep blue, almost a purple blue, with such depths of love in them that under its influence you almost forget to note the color of his eyes. The hair is a beautiful brown, worn long and parted in the middle so that it falls over his shoulders. His nose is straight and somewhat long, with nostrils very refined and showing the artistic elements in his nature. His other features are in keeping with those I have described. He wears a beard quite long and very silky and brown like his hair. His manner is grace itself and modesty personified, and yet in him is the intensity of feeling which can show itself in just indignation when the occasion requires. And yet with all the great beauty of his person and the greater love of his soul showing itself, he is very humble - more so than any spirit I have seen.

I have given you a bare outline of his appearance, and you will never fully realize in your mind's eye just what his appearance is; and only when you come over and meet him will you fully understand the appearance of the most wonderful and beautiful and loving spirit in all God's universe.

Some day this will happen; and you will not have the doubts that I had, and your heart will go out to him from the first moment of your meeting. My dear son, it is a greater privilege than you can appreciate, to be thus prepared to meet your friend and teacher; for he is your friend to a degree that is beyond what I thought he would ever be while you are on earth.

So you see, my experience was a somewhat exceptional one, and one secret of its being so is that I received very great faith and the Love of my Father - while on earth.

While the teachings of many preachers are that the earth is the only place of probation, and that teaching is not correct; yet if it were believed more, and mankind should prepare their future in view of that belief, many a man, when he becomes a spirit, would avoid experiences that are very unpleasant and retard his progress in the spirit world. Of course, such a belief (that the earth is the only place of probation) when the mortal fails to make the preparation, will work him great injury after he becomes a spirit; because such a belief is difficult to get rid of, and as long as it lasts the spirit is very apt to believe that his status is fixed forever, and hence he will not progress until he accepts the truth.

So you see after all, the only good belief is a belief in the truth, which never changes.

Probation is not confined to the earth life but is with man and spirits alike. In fact it never ends, for each preceding condition of a spirit is nothing more than a probationary condition to what follows. But the great probationary condition, undoubtedly, is that which exists for the mortal while on earth; and if that probation is accepted and made the most of, the spirit of man gains an advantage which is beyond my ability to describe.

Sometimes men do not attempt to take all the advantage of this probation on earth, and come to the spirit world in all their material thoughts and sins, with their souls dead, as Jesus said, and find that in such condition, as spirits, they have a more difficult time to awaken from such condition and progress; and I am informed that some spirits have been in this world for many many years and have not yet had an awakening.

So you must see the importance of taking advantage of the earth probation.

Well dear son, I have written a great deal and must stop now, though I should like to write you a much longer time.

So with all my love I will close, and sign myself

Your loving Grandmother,

Ann Rollins